In the Quran, marriage is no more than the promise of two people to stay together with love and compassion (mawadda wa rahma, 30:21). Thus the only requirement for a Quran-instituted marriage (nikah) is mutually respectful agreement, consent or commitment (4:19, 4:21, 4:24, 30:21). It is this powerful and binding agreement (meethaqan galezaan, 4:21) of conjugal relationship – along with the principles of love, care and mutual dedication (baʿdukum ila baʿdin, 4:21; 4:19, 30:21) – that constitutes the important basis of marriage as institution.
As indicated by the above, marriage is intended to be unbounded in time. However, when marital harmony cannot be attained, the Quran allows and even advises the spouses to bring the marriage to an end (2:231).
The subject of divorce is addressed in the Quran in four different chapters (2:226-232, 2:241, 4:35, 4:128-130, 33:49, 65:1-6). The related verses deal with the divorce proceedings, e.g. separation, arbitration, interim, settlement talks etc1.
Below we will observe the Quranic principles of divorce:
Make decisions together. Since the relationship between the spouses should ideally be based on love and care, all important decisions concerning both spouses, including divorce, should be made by mutual consent (4:19-4:24, 30:21).
Always stick to the principles of justice, decency and kindness. There is no slightest indication throughout the Quran that any violence or force is acceptable at any stage in family life. Even separation or divorce, if necessitated as the last resort, should be with justice, decency and kindness (2:229, 2:231, 4:19, 30:21, 65:2)2.
Try the necessary steps to solve marital issues. The three-step process required from a husband to deal with marital difficulties is about a reasonable and peaceful approach (4:34-35). Due to understandable reasons, the same process is not required from a wife who “fears from her husband disloyalty” (4:128). The related instructions, important in the context of the then patriarchal socio-economic reality, carefully consider the different gender roles and life experiences that prevailed at the time of the Quranic revelation and were obviously for the protection of women from being subjected to high pressure by the party breaching the contract.
Get counselling and try reconciliation through mediators. Although divorce is allowed in case the relationship is not working (2:231), the decision of divorce is not to be taken lightly, and the community is called upon to intervene by appointing arbiters from the two families to attempt a reconciliation (4:35; cf. 4:128-130).
Avoid hasty divorce and mind the waiting period. The Quran strongly discourages hasty divorces and establishes several means to avoid it. For example, apart from advising attempts for reconciliation, it prescribes an interim or waiting period (Iddah)3, usually 3 months, before the divorce is finalized, which also gives the husband time to reconsider his decision.
You are ‘welcome’ to break your oath for divorce. Likewise, a man who vows permanent abstinence from his wife, which would lead to spontaneous divorce, is asked to wait for four months – before the divorce is finalized – a period of grace when he is ‘welcome’ to break his oath (2:226)4.
A divorce requires witnesses. While a marriage/conjugal bonding (nikah) doesn’t require witnesses, a divorce does require witnessing by others, expectedly by ‘two just persons’ (65:2; e.g., by a registering authority). This is necessary due to various serious issues, including pregnancy, child care and inheritance. The same also applies to divorce in any modern civil marriage system. Some people, however, think that getting two witnesses during divorce is a recommendation rather than requirement and is to witness if there is any pregnancy at the end of interim: Then when they have reached their term, take them back with KINDNESS, or part with them with KINDNESS. And have (or, let there be) two just persons among you to witness, and establish the evidence straight for God. … 65:2
Men’s right to divorce is more restricted than women’s. While the Quran restricts the men’s right to divorce (2:229-230, 4:20, 33:49, 65:1), there are no similar restrictions on women (4:19, 4:128-130)5. In fact, it somehow gives women unconditional right to divorce when it allows them to dissolve the marriage anytime – with or without returning anything from the dowry they received (2:229)6. If the wife returns anything, it is entirely up to her, i.e., she can voluntarily choose so, without any legal binding.
Husbands cannot evict their divorced wives from home. The divorced women cannot be evicted from their houses by their ex-husbands (65:1; cf. 30:21).
An ex-husband should financially maintain his ex-wife if necessary. The living expenses of a divorced woman – especially one who is divorced without any legal fault on her part – are generally expected to be paid by the ex-husband unless she remarries (2:241). The amount of allowance has been left unspecified since it depends on the husband’s financial circumstances and on the social conditions of the time.
An ex-husband cannot stop his ex-wife to marry someone of her choice. The Quran says to men: Do not stop your divorced wife to marry someone of her choice after she has fulfilled the term of Interim, if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner (2:232).
The number of repudiations is limited to three. In pre-Islamic times, men kept their wives in a state of ‘limbo’ by continually repudiating them and taking them back at will. The Quran limited the number of repudiations (divorces) to three7, after which the man cannot take his wife back unless she first marries another man8 (2:229-230).
The general principle of divorce is based on kindness. The general principle of divorce, as advised to the husbands, is articulated here: When you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in KINDNESS or let them go in KINDNESS, and do not retain them against their will in order to hurt them or to take undue advantage of them: for whoever does so is doing wrong to himself. 2:231
Related article: What is nikah
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Note 1
A summary of the rules for divorce: • If the couple insist on divorce, then the wife and husband are to remain together in the same home until the ‘interim-period’ is complete (65:1). • If the couple reconcile, then divorce may be retracted and cancelled at any point during the interim period (2:229). • The divorce is automatically retracted if sexual intercourse takes place between the husband and wife during the interim period (65:1). • The interim period required is three menstruation periods. The interim for women who no longer menstruate is three months. The interim for pregnant women is until they deliver (2:228, 65:4). • There is no interim period required if the divorce takes place while no sexual intercourse has ever taken place between the couple (33:49). • If the couple still wishes to follow through with the divorce after the end of the interim period, then two witnesses are required to complete the process (65:2). • If this is the 3rd divorce, then the couple may not remarry each other unless the woman has been married to another man and then divorced (2:230). As obvious, the Quran considers divorce as a serious process where each of the three divorces requires several steps. Only words of mouth (such as “You are Divorced! Divorced! Divorced!”) have no actual value in this process. Ref: https://www.free-minds.org/divorce-islam. See also: https://submission.org/Divorce.html.
Note 2
There is no slightest indication throughout the Quran that any violence or force is acceptable at any stage in family life. Even separation or divorce, if necessitated as the last resort, should be with justice, decency and kindness:
The divorce is allowed twice. So, either remain together equitably, or part ways with KINDNESS. 2:229
When you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in KINDNESS or let them go in KINDNESS, and do not retain them against their will in order to hurt them or to take undue advantage of them: for whoever does so is doing wrong to himself; and do not take the messages of God as mockery. 2:231
Live with them in KINDNESS. 4:19
And among His wonders is that He created opposites for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He placed LOVE and MERCY between you: in this indeed there are messages for a people who reflect. 30:21
Then when they have reached their term, take them back with KINDNESS, or part with them with KINDNESS. 65:2
Note 3
Interim or Iddah is the waiting period for a woman during which she may not remarry. It is 3 months after a divorce (2:228, 65:4) and 4 months and 10 days after the death of her spouse (2:234). The purpose of interim was to ensure that the father of any child born after the cessation of a marriage would be known. Any pregnancy discovered during this period was assumed to be the responsibility of the former husband. This was the best way to confirm or exclude pregnancy as people didn’t have pregnancy tests in those days. Interim is not necessary for a divorce if the man hasn’t yet touched his wife (33:49). If after the divorce a woman learns that she is pregnant, she is advised to reconsider reconciliation with her former husband (2:228).
Note 4
In certain circumstances, people are allowed and even encouraged to break their oaths. Question: What action would the Prophet ban on himself that is lawful and that would please his wives, as referred to in 66:1? Is it divorce, or honey, as informed by various hadith stories? Answer: The related verses have no room for these conflicting and unfounded hadith stories, such as those of the Prophet prohibiting honey for himself or of divorcing Maria, the Coptic. Rather, as the context indicates, the lawful action that the Prophet banned on himself is BREAKING A PARTICULAR OATH: O you Prophet, why do you prohibit what God has made lawful for you, even to please your wives? God is Forgiver, Merciful./ God has already given the law, regarding the cancellation of oaths (2:224-226, 5:89). And God is your Sustainer, and He is the Knowledgeable, the Wise/ And when the Prophet said something to one of his wives in confidence, she divulged it (to another) and God made this known to him (through the other wife). He then informed his wife of part of the issue, and disregarded part. She asked him, “Who informed you of this?” He said, “I was informed by the Knowledgeable, the Aware.” 66:1-3. Apparently, in his compassion, the Prophet first took an oath that he would not divorce any of his wives under any circumstances. Then he disclosed to one of his wives in confidence – apparently to please her – that he prohibited himself from the cancellation of this oath. Then this was followed by further events. … Thereupon, the Quran reprimands the Prophet with the reminder that “God has already given the law, regarding the cancellation of oaths” (66:2), thus referring to 2:224-226 and 5:89. According to these verses, in certain circumstances, God ALLOWS and even encourages people to break their oaths, provided there is a right reason to do so (2:224-226), and then, if necessary, to atone for (5:89). For example, in a case scenario different from 66:1, a man who vows permanent abstinence from his wife, which would lead to spontaneous divorce, is asked to wait for four months – before the divorce is finalized – a period of grace when he is ‘welcome’ to break his oath (2:226): And do not make God the subject of your casual oaths, in case it becomes an obstacle to virtue and awareness and the promotion of peace among people: for God is Hearer, Knower./ God will not call you to account for your casual oaths, but He will call you to account for what has entered your minds: for God is Forgiving, Compassionate./ Those who are discontent with their wives and so take an oath that they will not approach them, let them wait for four months. If they reconcile, then God is Forgiving, Compassionate. 2:224-226
Note 5
The Quran gives women the unconditional right to divorce. It clearly grants women the right to initiate divorce (4:128-130), which reciprocates the right of men (4:34-35). See Note 3 of The Quran never allowed wife beating. Then 2:229 gives women the UNCONDITIONAL RIGHT to divorce. See Asad’s note on this verse: http://quranix.org/2#229W. Woman can dissolve the marriage anytime, with or without returning anything from the dowry she received. If she returns anything, it is entirely up to her. I.e. she can voluntarily choose so, without any legal binding (“there shall be no blame on either of you for what the wife WILLINGLY gives back, whatever she chooses, 2:229”).
Note 6
Hadith, contrary to the Quran, on the other hand, doesn’t allow women to seek divorce except in extreme cases, e.g.: The Messenger of Allah said, “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her.” Narrated by Thawban. https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah:2055. Hadiths like this are a reason for some Muslim countries to allow unilateral power of divorce only to husbands. The current Hadith-influenced Sharia restrictions often prove too forbidding and tyrannical to an aggrieved wife, as she has to tolerate unbearable torture of her husband in the face of his refusal to divorce. These Sharia provisions are in direct conflict with the Quran’s directions that a wife should not be compelled to stay with her husband against her will (33:28, 4:19) and to her hurt (2:231), that a wife has rights similar to her husband (2:228) and that a husband needs to treat his wife in a compassionate manner (2:228,229,231, 65:2).
Note 7
Hadith, contrary to the Quran, allows men to instantaneously divorce their wives simply by three utterances of divorce, e.g.: Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the (pronouncement) of three divorces during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger and that of Abu Bakr and two years of the caliphate of Umar (was treated) as one. But Umar b. Khattab said: Verily the people have begun to hasten in the matter in which they are required to observe respite. So if we had imposed this upon them, and he imposed it upon them. https://sunnah.com/muslim:1472a. Abu Sahba’ said to Ibn ‘Abbas: Do you know that three (divorces) were treated as one during the lifetime of Allah’s Apostle, and that of Abu Bakr, and during three (years) of the caliphate of Umar? Ibn Abbas said: Yes. https://sunnah.com/muslim:1472b; also https://sunnah.com/muslim:1472c. These hadiths treat three utterances of divorce at one time as sufficient for a divorce, i.e., they sanction instantaneous divorce without the Quran-instructed waiting period. This hadith-based misinterpretation of the clear verses of the Quran (2:229-230) is the source of the despicable ‘instantaneous triple talaq’ system that takes place in some countries and that destroys so many Muslim families.
Note 8
Hadith, contrary to the Quran, doesn’t allow a wife after the ‘instantaneous triple talaq’ to remarry her former husband unless she marries another person, e.g.: Ibn `Umar bin Al-Khattab divorced his wife during her menses. Allah’s Messenger ordered him to take her back till she became clean, and when she got another period while she was with him, she should wait till she became clean again and only then, if he wanted to divorce her, he could do so before having sexual relations with her. And that is the period Allah has fixed for divorcing women. Whenever `Abdullah (bin `Umar) was asked about that, he would say to the questioner, “If you divorced her thrice, she is no longer lawful for you unless she marries another man (and the other man divorces her in his turn).’ Ibn `Umar further said, ‘Would that you (people) only give one or two divorces, because the Prophet has ordered me so.” Narrated by Nafi`. https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5332. This hadith is a sheer misinterpretation of the Quran’s verses 2:230-232 which allow a divorced wife who has voluntarily married another person to go back to her former husband, if her latter husband divorces her. This misinterpretation is the source of the despicable halala or hilla system that takes place in some countries. In this system, a divorced wife is compelled to marry another person against her will as a condition for her to reunite with her former husband. By exacting a terrible human cost in terms of enormous suffering inflicted on the couple willing to reunite, this has resulted in destroying many Muslim families. It is regrettable that the traditional religious leaders enforce this satanic system as they totally ignore another hadith that resonates with the Quranic instruction “Do not prevent them to remarry, 2:232” (see Bukhari 7:62:61 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5130).
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